Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
