So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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