8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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