Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
