is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
