"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
