Grow some girl-balls and come out already
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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