You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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