Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
