We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
