Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
