video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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