I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
