I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
