So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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