Please, let me fuck your mom
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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