what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
