Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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