Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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