hell yes lets make some ravioli
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
