Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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