why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
