nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
