Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
