: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
