So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
