; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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