I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
