i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
