I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
