Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize