butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Terrible idea I love it
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
