someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
