it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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