That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
