There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
