that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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