shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
