No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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