Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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