Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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