I am in a vortex of obligation.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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