I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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