I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
the day after is always just damage control
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
