ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
