are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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