I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
