I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i came on her dog
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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