yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
