I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
